F1 season 2011 preview

Formula One, the world’s most glamorous and at times most controversial sport, returns this weekend with the curtain raiser taking place in Australia. So, we’ve complied a list of things to expect during the 2011 F1 season.

1. Dramatic tyre degradation

This season Formula One has a new chief tyre supplier, Pirelli, who’re replacing Bridgestone. During testing the Italian manufacturer where given the mandate to ensure this season’s tyres are softer as F1 bosses hope to create more overtaking and to test the ability of tacticians as they try to prevent unnecessary pit-stops. It could prove a difficult task balancing the benefits of keeping drivers on track as opposed to bringing them in to change their boots as winter testing has already shown. For example, at Barcelona recently Mercedes’ Michael Schumacher, on fresh Pirellis, caught McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton, struggling on degrading tyres, over a matter of only 3 laps overtaking him and pulling out a 5 second lead on the 2008 World Champion. Striking tyre degradation such as this may lead many teams to bite the bullet and pit much more frequently with many pundits predicting each driver will pit three or four times in every race. Commentator, Martin Brundle, said recently he expected to see some ‘crazy results’ due to the volatile nature of the new tyres and this could be a huge benefit to the midfield teams especially at the start of the season while they are all still adapting.

2. A new Brit

The gird now has three British drivers with the arrival of Scot, Paul Di Resta, the 24-year-old has been on the cusp of joining an F1 team for many years as he’s previously been linked with drives at Mclaren, Force India and Toyota. Finally the 2010 DTM Champion has got his chance joining Force India, who he tested for in 2008, as a replacement for Italian Antonio Liuzzi. Unlike most rookies who drive in F1, based on a sponsors’ cheque, Di Resta has a proven pedigree of being a motor sport champion. He won the Formula Three Euroseries and Masters of Formula 3 championships in 2006 and has consistently finished in the top three overall standing in the German touring car series, DTM, over the last three seasons before winning the competition last year. As Force India are firmly placed in the middle of the field not much is expected of the Scot but he’ll be determined to achieve consistent points finishes to put him on the radar of front running teams. To help him reach his potential and equal the feats of F1’s two other British drivers, Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton, by becoming World Champion in a few seasons time.



3. A struggling Mclaren

Over winter testing Mclaren Mercedes new car, the MP4-26, has struggled for pace and reliability and has left many wondering if the team are capable of mounting a challenge for the drivers and constructors titles. Drivers, Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton, have both toed the party-line saying they’re content but they must be frustrated by the car’s apparent lack of performance. A feeling which must be privately felt within the team too as Mclaren Team Principal Martin Whitmarsh has confirmed his team are making ’dramatic’ alterations to the car before this weekend’s Australian Grand Prix. These changes centre upon giving the MP4-26 a new floor and exhaust system. Whitmarsh said: “There's a risk in that but I think it was the right thing to do and we're hopeful that the risk comes off and the car becomes a lot more competitive.” He defiantly concluded that he felt the new Mclaren could now become over a second a lap quicker. Success for Britain’s two former World Champions could depend hugely on this early season gamble as rivals Ferrari and Red Bull look to be this season’s pace setters once more.

4. Team Orders

The clause which banned team’s engineering an advantage for their ‘lead driver’ has been removed and now teams can again freely tell their ‘second drivers’ to let their team-mates past them. Team orders came to prominence during Michael Schumacher’s dominant era with Ferrari when team-mates Eddie Irvine, Rubens Barrichello and Felipe Massa were all told to move aside to give the German race victories. The Scuderia were adjudged to be up to their old tricks last season when Felipe Massa surrendered what would have been an emotional first victory since returning from a near fatal accident to allow Fernando Alonso to win the German Grand Prix. Massa‘s race engineer Rob Smedley radioed the Brazilian and said ‘Fernando is faster than you’ moments later Alonso was past Massa with Smedley radioing a solitary ‘sorry’ to the distraught Brazilian. Ferrari were given a slap on the wrist for their actions by the FIA and rival teams heavily criticised their use of team orders, none more than Red Bull Team Principal Christian Horner, it will be interesting to see if he uses team orders now the ban has been lifted after all it could have saved him a lot of hassle last season as drivers Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber regularly tangled with each other nearly blowing their championship hopes.

5. An improved Michael Schumacher

The big talking point of the 2010 season was the return of the legendary Michael Schumacher as he signed up to race for the new Mercedes team, previously World Champions Brawn GP, and this caused euphoria amongst millions of F1 fans across the world. Although in-truth the seven-time World Champion’s comeback was far from plain sailing. He was regularly out-performed by team-mate Nico Rosberg, who almost doubled Schumacher’s point haul of 72, he also struggled to get to grips with qualifying often not making the top ten shoot-out in Q3 and worst of all the German never even mounted the podium with his best finish being fourth in Korea. It was a real shock for many F1 purists who wanted their idol to waltz back behind the wheel of an F1 car and re-establish his dominance from his Ferrari years. In winter testing the prospects have looked good for Schumacher as he quite frequently topped the time sheets despite many saying the Mercedes lacks pace. After his disastrous return, where he ended the championship ninth, you won’t find many predicting he’ll become a World Champion for the eighth time in 2011 but they’re hopeful he’ll at least grace the podium from time-to-time and possibly win a race, this would be a great sign-off for a true great, who probably won’t be on the grid in 2012.



6. A rotation of drivers at Hispania Racing

It’s fair to say of last season’s three new teams, Hispania, struggled substantially more than Virgin Racing or Lotus with no pre-season testing and non-stop financial difficulties it was a wonder they got on the grid at times. During races their fortunes didn’t improve much with their drivers consistently finishing at the very back of the field, if at all, which lead to them finishing last in the constructors championship. They arguably didn’t help themselves by using four drivers, Karun Chandhok, Bruno Senna, Sakon Yamamoto and Christian Kilen, throughout the season which prevented any stability as Hispania tried to find their feet in the sport. This season they’re starting with two new drivers former Jordan racer Narain Karthikeyan and Antonio Liuzzi, who drove for Force India next year, both have substantially more F1 experience and sponsorship than their predecessors but don’t be surprised to see an also-ran from seasons gone by replacing one of them during the season. Maybe Takuma Sato will fancy a mid-season F1 return.

7. Warring team-mates

As the golden rule of F1 goes, you have to beat your team-mate, from Mclaren’s two Brits to Red Bull’s bickering duo there are sure to be some heated in-team rivalries this season. The most memorable moment of warring team-mates last season had to be when Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber clashed at the Turkish Grand Prix wiping Vettel out of the race while jeopardising Red Bull’s title hopes. Now that Vettel is a World Champion it will be interesting to see if Webber is expected to defer to the young German and furthermore if the fiery Aussie complies. A similar situation could happen at Mercedes too after Nico Rosberg pummelled Michael Schumacher last season it’s unlikely the veteran will settle for second driver status. Also at the front it’ll be intriguing to see whether Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa start the season on a level-footing. Given that last year the Brazilian had to be the yielding rear-gunner to the two-time World Champion. One thing is for sure with the reinstating of team orders some teams will clearly define a number one and number two driver which probably isn’t a bad idea. As the civil war at Mclaren between Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso in 2007 cost the team the title as Kimi Raikkonen’s Ferrari, who started the final race third in the championship, piped them to the World Championship.



8. A possible return for Robert Kubica
The big tragedy of pre-season was the accident to Renault’s, Robert Kubica, as he was allowed to compete for Skoda in the Ronde di Andora rally but the Pole unfortunately crashed leaving his F1 career in the balance. The one-time race winner suffered various hand, arm and leg injuries which needed multiple operations to repair. There is no way that he’d be able to take the seat of his vastly improved, Lotus Renault GP, for the opening months of the season but F1 fans would undoubtedly love to see him back behind the wheel before the season finishes. In the mean-time his former BMW team-mate, Nick Heidfeld, is deputising for Kubica which could put the in-experienced, Vitaly Petrov’s, position with the team in doubt should Heidfeld do well for Renault in Kubica’s absence. As the pairing of Kubica and Heidfeld made BMW a very fearsome team during their time together previously and would again with Lotus Renault GP if the Pole recovers this season.

9. The First Indian Grand Prix

This season on October 30th F1’s inaugural Indian GP will take place at the Jaypee Group Circuit, in Greater Nodia. The sprawling circuit consists of 16 largely medium speed corners with cars having an expected average lap speed of around 210 kph. The grand stands will house around 150,00 spectators with plans in-place to extend that to 200,000 should the race become popular with fans. When the F1 circus arrives in India in the thick of the season the grid will have an Indian team, Force India, and an Indian driver, Narain Karthikeyan (If Hispania haven’t replaced him by then).

10. Controversies

F1 is nothing without the traditional scandal each season. In recent years we’ve seen spying between Mclaren and Ferrari, illegal car designs, Piquet-gate and even allegations about former FIA President Max Mosley’s private life. This year nothing much has arisen yet other than trash talk between teams with Lewis Hamilton recently describing Red Bull as ‘just a drinks company’ this is pretty light stuff at the moment but it’ll be sure to simmer during the season. There is bound to be controversies surrounding the legality of teams’ diffusers as has become the norm in recent years. Plans to make F1 more interesting are also sure to cause debate with big cheese, Bernie Ecclestone, recently proposing artificial rain to make races more of a spectacle and being roundly shot down by the paddock. Whatever happens this year there is certain to be as much action the track as there is on it as always.

Review: The Strokes - Angles

As featured on Virgin.com



‘I’m putting your patience to the test’ is the cry of Julian Casablancas’ distinctive drawl in ‘Angles’ enthralling opener, the slightly Caribbean sounding, ‘Machu Picchu’ and this is something he has been doing to The Strokes’ many fans for over five years since the New York rockers last album ‘First Impressions of Earth’ was released in 2006. Since then the five-piece had gone their separate ways during the band’s hibernation and focused on their own solo projects notching up no fewer than five albums between them.

In 2009 Casablancas and guitarist Nick Valensi announced the band had started writing new material so last year expectant fans were overcome with excitement when the New Yorkers made appearances on the festival scene with revellers tentatively stood in fields awaiting new material. Instead Casablancas and co gave two rousing ‘best of’ gigs headlining at RockNess and the Isle of Wight festivals with no new songs to be found.



Rumours then surfaced they were having recording problems with award-winning producer Joe Chicarelli and the indie band decided to record the majority of ‘Angles’ material at guitarist, Albert Hammond Jr’s, home studio in New York. The result is something of a variety album taking the best of the band’s three previous albums, ‘Is This It’, ‘Room on Fire’ and ‘First Impressions of Earth’, to reassure fans as they move in an experimental new direction.
Debut single ‘Undercover of Darkness’, which was released in February, wouldn’t be out of place on The Strokes’ acclaimed first album, ‘Is This It’, with punchy heavy guitar work from masters Nick Valensi and Hammond Jr pounding throughout. The high tempo song has a chorus reminiscent to the band’s most recognisable track from their back catalogue ‘Last Nite’ but gives the impression that the New Yorkers slightly resent the cult status that the iconic anthem gave them with the lyric ‘Everybody singing the same song for ten years’ (The amount of time that has passed since ‘Is This It’) and want to be taken more seriously. Lyrically this album’s message is one of frustration that The Strokes feel they can’t move away from their early work.

Throughout ‘Angles’ we’re treated to some unexpected 70s style prog-rock heard in jovial ‘Gratisfaction’ which could easily be a Thin Lizzy power ballad as could the soft pop sounding ‘Two Kinds of Happiness’. This reflective track has seen The Strokes jump on the band wagon of indie bands becoming electronic with the predominant drums in the chorus sounding pretty similar to the Friendly Fires’ ‘Jump in the Pool’ but with an assured confident coolness of Roxy Music back in their pomp.


The electronic sound, clearly influenced by Casablancas’ 2009 solo album ‘Phrazes for the Young’, doesn’t stop there with ‘Games’ feeling like something from New Order’s heyday abundant in synth that would work perfectly as new wave background music for the legendary game Sonic the Hedgehog. Moving on from the Star Light Zone ‘Angles’ regrettably does get a little muddled at times when the experimentation in filler tracks such as, the sinister Muse-like, ‘Metabolism’ and ‘You’re So Right’, which feels like a rhythmic chant that is sure to induce a headache, does go a little wrong.

These are minor blemishes on what is a very good return album for The Strokes, who find lead singer Casablancas in fine form, despite him recording all his vocals separate from the rest of the band as he felt he would ‘interfere’ too much (obviously it‘s nothing to do with them not getting on). This could have resulted in a very disjointed album but despite concerns from some band members The Strokes get away with it and the overall it goes unnoticed in the production. Although Valensi recently said he would refuse to make another album in this fashion.

As much as critics will be eager to criticise ‘Angles’ basically because it isn’t another ‘Is This It’ there is much to savour from this album. First and foremost The Strokes, one of the world’s most renowned guitar bands, are back making new music which can only be a good thing. Furthermore from the album’s title there is a sense that this record was a group endeavour with The Strokes members collectively contributing their own wide expertises, more than ever before, emphasising this to be a journey they’re all taking together. They give the impression they’re trialling new sounds in-order to decide which they want to take forward into the future as ultimately Angles is very much a ‘pic n mix’ record with enough evident successes capable of fuelling an entirely polished fifth album.



‘Angles’ jewel in it’s pretty weighty crown is the finale ‘Life is Simple in the Moonlight’, which was recently performed on American TV show Saturday Night Live, the guitars are let loose complementing Casablancas’ unique drowns effortlessly. This is when the New Yorkers sound at their most Strokes-like, almost as if they’re dragging the masses along waiting to give them what they want right at the end, this thoughtful track would be perfect for a festival set as the day descends into night and the stars begin to sparkle up above. If Casablancas is to be believed the band have more than enough material ready to fill a fifth album, so hopefully it won’t be another five year wait. What’s for certain is The Strokes seem reinvigorated and determined to shape their own destiny not caring what others think. As Casablancas defiantly signs off ‘Don’t try to stop us get out of the way’.

7/10

Craig Jones

This Summer's fashions debuted

The Summer months are fast approaching and given the dreary winter of cuts, wars and Dancing on Ice that we’ve all had to endure, the people of Britain, are undoubtedly looking forward to a bit of sunshine but the question is, what should we be wearing this Summer? On Thursday evening I discovered what’s in vogue for men’s fashion this year at a GQ menswear show at, Selfridges, in Manchester’s Exchange Square. Brace yourself lads it’s going to get a little bit colourful from here as it would seem dark blue, grey and black are out.

On the chilly Thursday, prior to the catwalk show, I’d been working as a waiter in a Mexican restaurant and I had to take my evening’s attire with me as I would have never had enough time to get ready and get to Manchester in time for the show. Given that the event is heavily fashion based I thought there is a very high probability I was going to be judged for my chosen ensemble. So I decided to play it safe with a grey cardigan topping a white shirt and skinny tie complemented by tinted navy jeans and sky blue plimsolls. Surely this couldn’t fail.

After completing my shift I went to make the dramatic Clark Kent transformation from waiter to fashion journalist and discovered to, my horror, whilst dousing myself in bottle after bottle of aftershave, to rid myself of the smell of chicken fajitas, that I’d forgotten my jeans and plimsolls. As time was ticking away fast and I had less than an hour to get to the event a dilemma developed. Do I risk going home picking up my carefully selected footwear and jeans or just gamble by my wearing the now grubby lower half of my work uniform?

I had no option and went with the latter, as I arrived in Manchester making the long walk past the CIS to Selfridges I stood In every puddle I could find in the hope that my salsa and guacamole covered shoes would miraculously begin to gleam so I didn’t look like the amateur I clearly was. Staring at the big wheel that stands proudly next to the now rather imposing Selfridges building I thought how can I comment about fashion when I’m wearing trousers that make me look like I’ve just finished a long day at school.

Entering the menswear department I suddenly started to feel at ease, this could have been something to do with the free alcoholic beverages, and began to wonder around the displays for the new season. The handy information leaflets informed me of the four big looks for men this summer including, South Pacific, which consists of khaki designs and bright Hawaiian shirts, although, I’m not overly convinced this’ll be a massive hit with Manchester’s abundance of Liam Gallagher impersonators but who knows it could catch on.

If that isn’t your bag then maybe, Carry On, will be this fashion aims to rediscover, Britannia, raising memories of a good old fashioned jaunts to the seaside wearing vibrant stripy T-Shirts and high raised shorts that even an 1980s footballer would blush at the sight of. After speaking to the sales assistant, at length, about this look, which I have to admit did grow on me by the end of our conversation, she concluded by saying the Charlie Chaplin look is back in…I never knew it went out.

Selfridges seemed to have committed to revving memories of Starsky and Hutch, Marc Bolan and Frank Zappa’s moustache in the, 70s Holiday, display. I’m pleased to report that we can now safely dig out the loafers and bleached denim from the attic and wear them once more, also, it might be a good idea to start growing an afro too.

The final ensemble for the summer months is, Rainbow, which does exactly what it says on the tin. I was blinded by the light of looking at multi-coloured jumpers and cardigans that contained every colour known to man. From this look I couldn’t help but wonder if this meant James May is a style icon? As he’s been wearing very similar stuff on Top Gear for years. In all honesty, this did look rather fitting for the summer, it just would be complemented by a few rays of sunshine descending onto our shores. Although I doubt, Rainbow, will age all that well but it could well be a guilty pleasure this summer.

The night ended with the main event of a catwalk show hosted by T4’s Jameela Jamil (I had to Google her as most weekend morning I’m too worse for ware to be out of bed watching television) presenting the looks in greater detail. With offerings from top designers such as Ralph Lauren, Acne, Gucci, Jill Sander and Kurt Geiger amongst others.

A few expected insecurities crept in during the show as I stared at the admittedly rather handsome runaway models while simultaneously I caught a reflection of my somewhat portly figure but this depression soon turned to excitement as I spotted former contestants of Channel 4’s Coach Trip (My favourite TV show) admiring the clothes on display. I did hope that tour guide Brendan may have been present but alas he was nowhere to be found.

The evening was a great success and seemed to please those much more qualified than me to judge fashion the only slight glitch was that the lovely Jameela kept name dropping Jude Law and Sienna Miller saying that they were big fans of the looks, that she thought they’d probably wear matching outfits, only for someone to remind her after her 12th reference to them that they’d recently split-up (Oh dear!).

I think it’s fair to say most of what was on display was aspirational attire, given that the outfits cost more than my car, but there were a few looks which I could see really working on the streets of Manchester this year, so guys maybe forget about roaming around shirtless (Obviously this‘ll disappoint many ladies I’m sure) the second the sun appears (getting that all too common and not particularly appealing red lobster look) and go for a rainbow jumper instead. Also the good people at GQ and Selfridges have assured me that socks and sandals do not mix so try your best to steer clear of them I know Jude Law does.

Renault's pre-season conundrum

As Murray Walker would say the new F1 season is all set to ‘go,go,go’ in less than a months time starting in, Sakir, with the Bahrain Grand Prix. There’s been much debate over the winter about how Ferrari will react to being pipped at the post in Abu Dhabi, whether Schuey can up his game after a distinctly average return last season and also whether the teams will adapt to the new Pirelli tyres. While underneath the surface everyone has failed to notice that Renault were beginning to shape up very nicely for the 2011 season.

Off-the-track there had been a little bit of scandal with regards to the team’s naming rights as this season they’ll be named Lotus-Renault after striking a $100m title name sponsor with the prestigious car giant. This resulted in a bitter war of words between the Renault crew and Team Lotus about who were the rightful owners of the team’s renowned F1 pedigree.


In truth this was all a flash in the pan and during pre-season practise the sleeping giant of a team had been topping the time sheets under the stewardship of Pole, Robert Kubica, touted as a genuine title contender for the forthcoming season by Sterling Moss. The one-time race winner, who ran Lewis Hamilton close to the world crown in 2008 must have been feeling pretty confident about his prospects for this season until that ill-fated Sunday morning, only three days ago.

Kubica, a well known rally enthusiast, was given permission to compete in the Ronde di Andora Rally, in Genoa, Italy, by Lotus-Renault bosses but it has been well documented that he had a serious crash during the road stage.


The former BWM-Sauber racer has fractures to his right shoulder, elbow and leg but the major concern and the severe cuts he suffered to his hand. Since the accident, where he crashed into a church wall and was trapped inside his Skoda Fabia for over an hour before being freed, he has had numerous operations on his injured hand.

What is certain is that F1’s first-ever Polish driver will not be on the grid in 29 days time, if at all this season, Lotus-Renault now have to decide who is capable of driving their vastly improved car and take over from their team leader.

The team’s test drivers Bruno Senna, nephew of the legendary Ayrton, and Romain Grosjean both have limited F1 experience, neither have ever completed an entire season. So it’s unlikely they’d be able to fill the void left by Kubica and the idea of Vitaly Petrov leading the team is sure to be met by cynicism. The Russian had a so-so debut year, admittedly he vastly improved in the second-half, but he will have to come on leaps and bounds to be considered seriously.

Renault team boss Eric Boullier has publicly shortlisted Bruno Senna, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Nick Heidfeld to replace the injured Robert Kubica in 2011. Of the three surely, Heidfeld, stands out as he has experience and some proven pedigree. Although that said, to me, he’s only a safe pair of hands as his best career finish is only 2nd place, ironically behind Kubica, his then team-mate at the 2008 Canadian Grand Prix. Maybe Lotus-Renault should be trying to cast their net further a field.


Other names touted include, the rumoured new Stig, Anthony Davidson and the impressive Nico Hulkenberg, who was somewhat unlucky not to keep his race seat at Williams. Hulkenberg and Heidfeld would make suitable replacements but in my opinion one candidate stands out, Kimi Raikkonen. After his Ferrari exile and a year in the wilderness rallying with Citroen is it now time to bring the 2007 World Champion back to F1?

Sure the Iceman can appear lazy and uninterested at times but he obviously has a winner’s mentality at heart, Lotus-Renault could do a lot worse than hiring the Finn to keep Kubica’s seat warm.

Also, today Citroën Sport director Olivier Quesnel, did state that Raikkonen would be free to make a ‘sensational’ comeback to the sport if he wanted to. So Lotus-Renault should not hesitate to jump at this prompting and sign a proven winner rather than another potential prospect which they have seemed all too keen to do in recent seasons. Anyone remember Nelson Piquet Jr?


Whatever happens the main thing is that Robert Kubica is back in F1 sooner rather than later as he has the abundant ability of a future champion.

The night I played for City

It’s every football fan’s dream to get close to the players of the club they support. CRAIG JONES got to make this a reality when he was the ‘DJ’ at the launch of Manchester City’s new club shop. . .

I’M sitting in the office on a drizzly Thursday morning with a million and one things to do.

It’s fair to say I’m in need of a pick-me-up. So, I do what anyone in my position would do – waste away the hours on Facebook. Flicking through the endless cringeworthy statuses (that I am all too guilty of writing myself) which included the usual ‘I can’t wait to finish work’, ‘I love my boyfriend sooooooo much’ and ‘I’m just off out for a loaf of bread’, all very intriguing stuff, I stumble across something of potential interest.

The official Manchester City page beckons me. It says: “Budding DJs wanted to cover the launch of our new club shop tonight.”

This is a calling. Being a City fan, I’m wobbling with excitement and, given the fact I consider myself something of a music buff, I decide to give it a go.

The rules are quite simple. All I have to do is submit three songs that I’d like to play. After much deliberation my choices are made – New Order’s Blue Monday, Julian Casablanca’s 11th Dimension and Editors’ Papillon. I’m convinced that a blend of a synthy Eighties alternative sound will be ideal for a shindig with Roberto Mancini and his boys.

A phone call comes and incredibly I’ve been selected to DJ the launch, I’m brimming with a smile that even the Cheshire Cat would be envious of. I then walk from desk to desk bragging to anyone who’ll listen what I’ll be doing this evening.

My friend Alexandra asks if she could accompany me to this glamorous event in the hope that she could snag herself a footballer husband.

She asks: “So Craig, who are the hottest players?”

Given my love for Carlos Tevez, I instantly blurt out the little Argentine bulldog’s name. Alex gives me a stern headshake of disapproval, of which Simon Cowell would be proud, and says: “Oh no Craig! Isn’t he the one with the massive scar?”


Obviously we look for different things in a man – I look for a goal scorer, and I dread to think what she looks for.

We arrive at the new CityStore on Market St, in the old HMV site across from Boots, startled by the view of a large blue moon rising.

We’re ushered to the entrance while having our snaps taken by photographers, who I hope believe me to be a footballer at the club. Given my ever-growing beer belly and the club’s alleged booze culture, maybe I could fit the bill perfectly.

Entering the store, there’s a space age parting of the ways when the moon splits in two allowing us to enter. I feel like we’re being taken on David Bowie’s space oddity and I begin to wonder if we’ll bump into Major Tom.


As we walk into the unknown, our entrance is greeted by rousing cheers from the Tannoy. I have to admit being cheered walking through a door is a fair old ego-boost and it eased my growing nerves before the impending DJ set.

The shop looks great – a bit like something from the film Tron. Lit in dark blue and full of mod-cons, we’re greeted by the event organiser who drags me from pillar to post.

Revealing that I’ll only be playing the three songs which I submitted (to be honest, I don’t mind as it gives me more time to schmooze with the City bigwigs), there then comes a trio of shocking bombshells.

The first is quite nice – all the drinks are complementary (not a bad start), secondly, the scarfed one, Roberto Mancini, will not be in attendance as he’s coming down tomorrow to officially open the store instead.

My heart is slightly broken at this point as I will admit I have a slight man-crush on the Italian stallion, who has an eye for knitwear.

But my spirits are raised by the fact Shaun Wright-Phillips and Micah Richards will be coming down later on.

The final revelation leaves me flabbergasted just as I’m told to jump behind the decks and get on with it.

The organiser says: “Just have a fiddle with the buttons – we are playing all the songs out of the main speakers anyway, so you don’t have to do anything, all you have to do is look convincing.”

It’s claimed, rather understandably, that the club couldn’t take a risk on whether I could DJ or not. Externally I’m nodding in agreement, but on the inside I’m having a diva-like strop.

Do they not know who I am? Do they not know of the ‘acclaimed’ radio show I did at uni or the many sets I’ve done in some of Manchester’s finest indie nightclubs?

My reputation didn’t precede me. In my head this is the biggest musical scandal since Milli Vanilli lip-synched or Cheryl’s latest mime on X Factor.

I jump behind the decks to begin a wooden acting master class that even Arnold Schwarzenegger would be embarrassed by. But as the sound of Bernard Sumner asking ‘How does it feel?’ rumbles around the shop’s basement floor I revel in my surroundings.

To my left I see the rather sophisticated shirt printing area that wouldn’t look out of place at a Kraftwerk gig and then directly in front of me I spy City’s Ambassador, the legendary Mike Summerbee, having a little dance to New Order.


At this point I start to amuse myself by switching the decks on and off wondering if anything will happen. Nothing does.

At the end of my set, Alex and I go grab a quick word with secret New Order fan Mike Summerbee. He speaks with great pride about the shop and says: “The store looks fresh, smart and modern; I think it epitomises the direction that the club is going.
“It just shows how Manchester City are growing as a force.”

We then get chatting about City’s current form and as an armchair fan I question the need of playing three holding midfielders at home. Summerbee, ever the gentleman, listens to my ramblings, which he’s probably heard a million times before. It becomes evident he’s keen to change the subject and he introduces us to the club’s CEO Gary Cook.

As we chat I’m desperate to ask about the infamous ‘bottler’ remark he aimed at Kaka when City expressed an interest in signing the Brazilian playmaker a few years back but don’t want to risk being frogmarched out of the joint.

The celebs keep rolling in and as we spot Micah Richards alone in the corner, we quickly hatch a plan, which is basically to use the girl as bait – Alex will ask for a photo and I’ll grab a few quotes about the football.

The plan goes perfectly. Alex gets a snapshot with a potential suitor and I have a chit chat with a man who I spent a few boozy nights with in Portland this summer when I inadvertently bumped into the squad during the club’s pre-season tour of America.

Richards recognises me, so there was actually no need for our convert 007-style plan. We chat about the good old days for a while before we get his thoughts on the new shop.

He raves: “It’s great, I’ve been to the old store in the Arndale Centre and this is a big improvement, I can’t believe how big it is. I think the fans will love it, they deserve the best on and off the field.”

I’m happy to get the quotes but as a fan I’m eager to get some juicy gossip about the club, I gently probe about the reported bust-ups between Mancini and the players but Richards leaps to the Italian’s defence. He explains: “I know a lot has been made about the recent results and our style of play, but I think people need to take a reality check and see that we are actually still fourth in the table.

“Everybody is saying we’re in decline and much has been said about the manager but he’s genuinely doing a good job and it is obvious the club is going in the right direction.”

The free alcohol must be running low as we’re now only being given halves of lager. Richards is called to the decks to join team-mate Shaun Wright-Phillips in providing the music. I jealously notice they get to actually DJ, no miming for millionaires, but at this point my attention has turned to other things.

After supping a fair bit, conversation between myself and Alex becomes very disjointed (I have the dictaphone recordings to prove it). She’s insistent on finding a waitress so she can grab another glass of wine while I realise that I don’t have this year’s kit and consider sneaking out with one of the jerseys displayed on the racks. I try to justify my intended actions by thinking, ‘The guys who own us are billionaires, they aren’t going to miss a shirt’.

At this point, I’d like to clarify I didn’t steal anything, what a horrible faux pas that would have been, but we consider this a good point to head towards the exits for the after show-party at The Living Room where City fans, Doves, would be performing. Before leaving I get a quick photo on the stage with Shauny, he has no option in the matter, as the little man is basically propping me up I’m in such an inebriated state. Although from the picture Shaun looks a little worse for wear, too.


We leave, the night has been amazing and I just can’t believe my luck that I got to be part of such a big event with the club I love. I have the sound of Andy Gray in my ears rumbling out the old footballing cliché: ‘you can’t win a raffle if you don’t buy a ticket’. Too true Andy, take a bow son.

Richards backs Mancini

Manchester City’s players leapt to the defence of Roberto Mancini ahead of the club’s crunch match with Fulham on Sunday.

The blues manager has recently received criticism following dour 0-0 draws at home to arch-rivals Manchester United and Birmingham City.

Right-back, Micah Richards, 22, has defended the Italian tactician and claims the club is heading in the right direction.

He said: “I know a lot has been made about the recent results but I think people need to take a reality check and see that we are actually still fourth in the table.

“Everybody is saying we’re in decline and much has been said about the manager but he’s genuinely doing a good job and it is obvious the club is going In the right direction.”

Richards believes that City are still firmly in this season’s battle for the Premier League title.

He said: “It’s hard to write anyone off at the moment as so many teams are dropping points, look at Chelsea they were well clear a few weeks ago, now they are in a little bit of trouble but you don’t hear anyone getting on Carlo Ancelotti’s back.

“I think everyone should just give Roberto Mancini the time he deserves.”

This weekend City travel to Craven Cottage to face Fulham at 4pm on Sunday and there is undoubtedly going to be an extra bit of spice to the game.

It’ll be the first time former manager Mark Hughes will face the blues since he unceremoniously left the club nearly 12 months ago, despite City having only lost twice in the Premier League at that point.

Richards said: “It will be nice to see Mark Hughes again although our main focus is getting the victory. It was well documented we didn’t always see eye-to-eye but I understand that he just wanted the best for me.

“I think much will be made of the fact that Hughes will be eager for a win but Fulham is always a tough place to go anyway, we’re not kidding ourselves.”

England international, Richards, believes that if City play at their best they’ll have no trouble bringing three points home from the capitol.

The defender also thinks the club are well on course to reach their pre-season target of Champions League qualification.

He said: “At the beginning of the season we decided that reaching the Champions League was our minimum goal, we are still well positioned to do that.

“Whether that’s in first, second, third or fourth place I’m not sure but we’ll definitely get there, with ease.”

Team-mate Shaun Wright-Phillips agrees with Richards and feels that City are being harshly treated.

Wright-Phillips, 29, said: “Since we got taken over the press attention has been immense and understandably if things go wrong journalists are keen to get on our backs.

“We are a great side full of world class players and we have a manager who’s won a lot over his career in Italy, we are really well equipped to meet our objectives.”

Meanwhile, fans favourite, Wright-Phillips, has spoke of his frustrations of not being able to cement a place in City’s starting eleven.

The winger has only made six appearances this season in all competitions and this has led to speculation over his long-term future.

He explained: “I’ve always said I want to finish my English football career with City but yes in the short term future I would possibly consider a loan move but I certainly don’t want to leave permanently.”

Wright-Phillips faces stiff competition for a starting spot from England stars Adam Johnson, James Milner and Spanish World Cup winner David Silva.

Recently, much has been made about City’s players having rows with manager, Roberto Mancini, as the former Inter Milan boss is reported to have had bust-ups with Emmanuel Adebayor, Adam Johnson and talisman Carlos Tevez among others.

Wright-Phillips said: “I’m not one to criticise managers, I know what Mancini wants from me and I’m just going to concentrate on showing him I deserve a place in the team.”

The former Chelsea star said he couldn’t describe how difficult he finds not playing but vowed to make his mark.

He said: “I know what I am capable of for club and country so I just have to be patient.”

Former City star Mike Summerbee, now an ambassador for the club has told Wright-Phillips to keep working hard and he’ll get his reward.

Summberbee, 67, said: “Everyone at the club loves Shaun and nobody wants to see him leave, If he applies himself I’m sure he’ll get the games he deserves.”

Summerbee also called for Mancini to be given more respect and said has faith in him.

He said: “Rome wasn’t built in a day and I feel sorry for Roberto, it is clear he has passion for the job and I’d ask for people to give him a break.

“There’s a long way to go and I’m sure we’ll be there or there abouts come May.”

Blue moon rises on Market Street

The blue moon rose on Market Street when Manchester City Football Club opened their brand new flagship store on Friday.

The current CityStore in the Arndale Centre will be replaced with a state-of-the-art retail outlet, 420% larger in comparison.

Shoppers will enjoy much more choice, with exciting new products including the latest fashion collections, accessories and gifts.

This follows a £1 million investment from the club’s new retail partner, Kitbag, who have also upgraded the ordering facility, offering a multi-channel service which allows fans to have products delivered anywhere in the world.

Garry Cook, CEO of MCFC, explained that they were very proud of their old store, but admitted they could do a little bit better.

“Eighteen months ago we asked if we could improve the current store,” he said.

“And I think this started to depict the journey of this football club because we’re relentlessly seeking to get better.”

The club and official kit partner, Umbro, have lots of events lined-up in the forthcoming months such as bands performing live, product launches and fashion shows taking place in the shop.

“What you see is not a club shop, what you see is a Manchester City retail experience with a difference,” Mr Cook added.

“This football club is a great football club and it sits at the heart of this city, just as our new store does.”

Mr Cook said that the club hopes their new store will be a home away from home, offering the complete stadium experience for supporters.

Managing Director of Kitbag, Ray Evans, said: “When discussing plans and aspirations for this shop, we quickly realised only the best could ever be considered for Manchester City Football Club.”

And with the store boasting a unique shirt printing laboratory and an innovative and sophisticated interior, their aspirations seem to have materialised.

“We want to offer fans a bit of that magic they experience at the stadium when they walk through the door,” he added.

“I am going to make a bold statement now and say that this is, without a doubt, the best football club store in this country.”

At the launch party of the store on Thursday many agreed.

One of them was City player, Micah Richards. He said: “It’s great, I’ve been to the old store in the Arndale Centre and this is a big improvement, I can’t believe how big it is.

“I think the fans will love it, they deserve the best on and off the field.”

Richards was joined by team-mate, Shaun Wright-Phillips, where they showed their support by djing at the event.

The final seal of approval came from former MCFC player and club ambassador, Mike Summerbee.

He said: “The store looks fresh, smart and modern; I think it epitomises the direction that the club is going.

“It just shows how Manchester City are growing as a force.”