Album review: Gorillaz - The Fall

Last year on Christmas Day fans of the world’s favourite cartoon band got a welcome treat. No, Alvin and The Chipmunks didn’t release their second squeakquel on the big screen, but instead the inventive Gorillaz gave their online members their new album, ‘The Fall’, for free. The unique album was recorded on an iPad in just 32 days during the band’s tour of North America in the autumn of 2010 and it now finally gets officially released.

Gorillaz have never been a ones to follow the ‘traditional’ conventions of being a contemporary band so we shouldn’t really be surprised that Damon Albarn’s troop have managed to put together nearly 45 minutes of music on Apple’s space-age gizmo. Although what is very impressive is that ‘The Fall’ was Gorillaz second album in 2010 coming quickly after the critically acclaimed ‘Plastic Beach’.

Where ‘Plastic Beach’ had an abundance of collaborations leading to a plethora of electronic hip-hop singles ‘The Fall’ is stripped bare of glossy production and is pieced together using the finest apps the media tablet has to offer. The album feels like a spontaneous adventure through music and is treated as an on-tour diary or memoir which organically grew while the bus powered down America’s endless freeways with many of the tracks’ titles incorporating the names of the cities they visited such as ‘The Snake in Dallas’, ‘California and The Slipping of The Sun’ and ‘Aspen Forest’ amongst others.

Another of these, the album’s opener, ‘Phoner to Arizona’ creates a great level of expectancy for the next 14 tracks as it uses squelching beats, bleeps and distraught vocals to give an impression of the loading period before a video game kicks into full flight. It also wouldn’t have been out of place on Daft Punk’s soundtrack to the film Tron: Legacy with Gorillaz using an eerie sci-fi sound which is a heavy feature to much of the album. The intro to ‘The Joplin Spider’ almost feels like a homage to Ridley Scott’s Alien with the use of grainy fearful spoken-word recordings creating a strange suspense and sense of impending doom.

Posted on www.virgin.com

F.A. Cup Semi-Final

Manchester City fan Craig Jones is still rejoicing after watching Saturday’s FA Cup Semi-Final at Wembley. Here he relives one of the best days of his life

As the beaming sun peered in between the gaps in my curtains and seven synchronised alarm clocks, looking a little like the opening scene from Back to The Future, made an almighty racket, I slowly opened my eyes at 7.30am on Saturday morning (a time I’m rarely awake on most weekdays let alone weekends) and realised it was Derby Day.

I leapt up quickly, showered and had a bit of breakfast before sauntering over to Eastlands to get a coach to Wembley to face city rivals Manchester United in the semi-final of the FA Cup.

I was met by a sea of blue shirts, scarves, flags and any other memorabilia that Manchester City’s supporters had been able to lay their hands on. There was an army of coaches, many looking like chariots with an abundance of mod-cons. Mine and my father’s, however, looked more donkey and cart.

We set off and straight away my iPhone sprung into life with ‘hilarious’ texts from United-supporting friends who would be watching the evening’s events in the company of Adrian Chiles and co from ITV.

“You do know Wembley is south of Manchester don’t you?” said one. “If you get lost give Fergie a call he’s been there a few times before,” said another. “Make sure you take a sat nav.” I didn’t rise to the bait because I’ve never been one for playground football banter. I was going down to support my team and couldn’t have cared less about the opposition.

To be honest I wasn’t looking forward to the match, given that United beat us a few weeks previously with a wonder strike from Britain’s most charismatic man, Wayne Rooney, and our recent record against the Reds wasn’t great. Also, we’d just got schooled in a 3-0 defeat at Liverpool. On top of that, despite being one of the world’s richest clubs, there was still the feeling that we were destined to lose any match away from Eastlands.

But the mood soon changed when the party and the chanting started. One fan on the bus noticed my slight resemblance to our suave Italian manager Roberto Mancini and a chorus of “Bobby’s son is a City fan” broke out with lots of pointing at yours truly.

We arrived at Wembley to a great reception from City fans. I felt part of the Royal Wedding entourage. But Blue heaven turned to Red hell when we passed a sea of United fans. That’s when the ‘healthy banter’ stopped and the coach was pelted with missiles with a bottle smashing against the rear window. Love thy neighbour was quite literally out of the window.

The coach parked up in the shadow of the imposing figure of Wembley’s arch. Unwittingly, our coach driver parked at United’s end of the stadium and we were herded into the lion’s den like helpless zebras. At this point my dad, Michael, began to flap a bit having seen the bad old days of football back in the Eighties which, thankfully, I’m too young to remember (although the first match I ever went to at Maine Road I did get chairs thrown at me from opposing fans). Thankfully nothing untoward happened.

Quite the reverse, in fact. We headed to the other side of the stadium to congregate with the other City fans. I was dressed in a white cardigan over my blue shirt and black jeans with the sun glistening on my Ray Bans and a light breeze blowing back my wavy hair, which prompted a backhanded compliment from a United fan with a Cockney accent. “Oh Russell Brand’s arrived!”

We crossed Wembley Way where red became blue and I was getting anxious as kick-off was imminent. Oddly, just before entering the stadium, we saw Fulham defender Brede Hangeland walking into the VIP section and I wondered what interest the big Norwegian had in a meeting between Manchester’s finest. I guess I’ll never know.

As we found our seats, choruses of ‘Blue Moon’ rang around the stadium as the two teams took to Wembley’s field which looked like a freshly laid carpet. Roars met the reading of every City player’s name before a pre-match Poznan was unleashed as the stadium announcer read the Reds’ starting line-up. For those that don’t know, the Poznan is a ritual City have adopted this season after meeting Polish side Lech Poznan in the Europa League where after a goal is scored, inspired by the Polish fans, City’s supporters turn away from the field, put their arms over the people next to them and jump up and down.

The gentle probing from both sides didn’t draw too much blood in the first 10 minutes but I felt United were turning up the heat. My suspicions were confirmed when Berbatov was one-on-one only for Joe Hart to pull off a fantastic save. But the danger didn’t end there as the ball immediately returned to the Bulgarian only for him to fluff another gilt-edged chance. My heart began to pound quite hard. I was certain a goal was imminent.

City started to push against the Red current, making a few good opportunities and for a moment, after seeing Joleon Lescott connect with the ball from a corner, I stood expectantly awaiting the net to rumble, but it didn’t. How the hell did he miss? That was bound to be our last chance, I thought.

After half-time, City continued as they had finished, on the front foot and pressurising the United backline until they made a mistake. Midfielder Michael Carrick gave a stray pass to City’s Yaya Toure who burst forward into the box and placed a shot in between Edwin Van Der Sar’s legs. It was beautiful.

I jumped and screamed in pure ecstasy along with another 40,000 City fans who dared to dream that we could be on course to the final.

After being in control and failing to grab the second goal a sense of nervousness crept in which was momentarily relieved when Paul Scholes was shown a red card for a bizarre and stupid challenge on Pablo Zabaleta. I celebrated like we’d extended the lead hoping it would prevent a United comeback. But I was all too aware of United’s never say die attitude. I was still on edge until the final whistle was blown after the traditional Fergie time.

We all rejoiced as City took one step closer to ending their three-decade trophy drought. The scuffle between Ferdinand and Mancini, which for the most part went unnoticed during the celebrations, emphasised the match’s importance not just to the blue half of Manchester but also to the red.

After the joy of seeing the Poznan performed by City’s players and staff on the pitch we headed back to the coaches. It was only a short walk to the car park and I greeted every insult and expletive with a smile before we climbed back on the coach and headed North.

I did ponder sending a boastful text to my Manchester U friends but decided against it as beating United was only half the battle. It will all be meaningless if we don’t return victorious after playing Stoke City next month.

One thing is for certain, I’ll be sure to ask for directions from Manchester United fans when we return to Wembley in May as all their helpful advice sorted City out a real treat on Saturday.

Posted on www.thenatter.co.uk

China Grand Prix review

Sunday’s Chinese Grand Prix was a joyous culmination of this season’s three reforms flowing in tandem to produce an exhilarating race something which Formula One has sometimes lacked in recent years. The DRS (Drag Reduction System) and KERS (Kinetic Energy Recovery System) complemented each other beautifully so that cars could have that extra boost to pass the road hog in their way once they got behind them. While Pirelli’s new tyres really left the paddock’s strategy men with lots to ponder as they dramatically started to degrade once they’d reached their sell by date.

The big winners on the day were undoubtedly Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg who gambled by making an extra pit stop so that their tyres would still be fresh at the end of the race while other racers were left struggling for grip. This allowed Hamilton to catch this season’s runaway championship leader Sebastian Vettel at a vast rate of knots and gave the McLaren man his first victory of the season.

Throughout the field there was no-stop action something the sport hasn’t seen since Brazil 2008 when the aforementioned Hamilton secured his World Championship on the last corner and very rarely sees without nature’s raining intervention.

One man who deserves special praise for his performance on the Shanghai International circuit was Red Bull’s Mark Webber who has quickly become the sport’s forgotten man this year in the shadow of his team-mate Vettel. The Aussie had a disastrous qualifying performance suffering from technical difficulties, then going out on the harder less preferable tyres and failing to make it through Q1 finishing 18th on the grid. Red Bull’s Team Principal Christian Horner insisted the car was good enough to get through to the next session and wasn’t the most sympathetic to Webber’s plight.

On race day though the six-time race winner lived up to his Twitter name and shown true Aussie grit as he stormed through the field to secure a podium finish on the dying laps. It’s also a great compliment to the quality of Red Bull’s RB7 car that Webber could start so far down and bag a third place. But take nothing away from Webber who put in a stonking drive to position himself back into the title battle. It’s now vital he builds on such a great performance and pins back World Champion Vettel in this year’s championship fight.

Webber’s performance was comparable with the countless times the great Michael Schumacher has bludgeoned his way through the field from the back, when he rode his prancing Ferrari. It was also on par with the magnificent drive Jenson Button put in to secure his maiden F1 victory at the 2006 Hungarian Grand Prix as he started 14th to then win. What makes Webber’s drive on Sunday probably more impressive than Button’s that day was that all this happened in dry conditions showing that Webber, his tyres and his strategy just all clicked.

It has been noticeable so far this season that the new rules have prompted more overtaking than we’ve had in previous years but there’s still been the same old problem. Of a car scampering off into the distance and nobody else being capable of catching them although what was really impressive about Sunday and the new tyres in-particular is that now the teams are literally driving into the unknown. As Pirelli are new this season to F1 the teams don’t know how well the tyres will hold together on certain tracks. This was the case in China when Vettel looked to have sealed another victory only for his tyres to lose significant performance, like the majority of the field’s two-stoppers, leaving him a sitting duck for Hamilton. This unpredictable nature combined with the new technology to assist with overtaking could really help create the best season ever and make F1 the exciting sport all the fans want it to be.

Posted on www.virgin.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TGI'S

Craig Jones helps TGI Friday’s celebrate its 25th birthday and ends up ever so slightly inebriated

Readers of The Natter may recall late last year our reporter Tamsin Eames received a crash course in ‘flair bartending’ at TGI Friday’s, creating her own concoction, The Lady Pint.

Recently I returned to TGI’s Trafford Centre restaurant to see if it had become a hit during the chain’s 25th birthday celebrations.

Unsurprisingly, The Lady Pint – which consisted of every ingredient on the bar lovingly chucked into a pint glass – hadn’t made its way onto TGI’s never-ending menu of cocktails (although the Passion Punch did look like it had ripped it off slightly). But they have debuted a new beverage created by Trafford Centre bartender Warren Parsonage.

The elegant drink known as The Skyy High Elderberry beat 57 other cocktails in a battle to be added to the chain’s nationwide drinks menu. Each of TGI’s UK stores nominated one new cocktail made by a member of their staff as an entry in their mixology competition.

Winner Warren said: “I’m buzzing that my cocktail has been chosen to become part of Friday’s famous cocktail menu. Friday’s is known for its cocktail innovation and now I can proudly say that one of my own creations will be on the menu next to some all-time classics.”


Craig and Tamsin sample the now legendary,
but sadly no longer available, ‘Lady Pint’

The Skyy High Elderberry is a refreshing blend of Skyy vodka, crème de Mure, apple juice, and elderflower cordial. Warren was more than happy to demonstrate making it with the aid of a few tricks and flicks in front of some adoring punters during the restaurant’s birthday party.

Every hour Friday’s’ highly skilled flair team put on a spectacle of showmanship and audaciousness that even cocktail Casanova Tom Cruise couldn’t have matched in his Eighties pomp.

The Trafford Centre bar team was led by Adi Astley, main picture, above, who is TGI Friday’s 2010 UK Flairing Champion. Adi had the honour of choreographing a world record breaking routine to kick-off TGI’s 25th birthday celebrations earlier this year.

It saw 101 bartenders performing for over two minutes without dropping a bottle or falling out of sync. This set a new Guinness World Record title for the ‘Most People in a Simultaneous Cocktail Flair’.

Adi said: “That was a really great day and we had so much fun. I’m so proud of everyone. Flair is about creating theatre and fun around the bar experience.”

On our previous visit me and Tamsin were guided by the capable flairing hands of barman Ian Brooke, who taught us how to make (and sample) various cocktails. This time I briefly made a cameo behind the bar with my tutor. It’s fair to say the apprentice hasn’t yet outgrown the master as I wasn’t an unprecedented success.

Ian tried to teach me to flick a bottle and land it standing back on the palm of my hand. At the best of times my hand-eye coordination isn’t great and after supping a fair few cocktails it wasn’t at its most impressive. I attempted the trick only to inadvertently hit the bottle back towards Ian striking him in an area of his body where it’s always bound to hurt. Thankfully everyone – including Ian – saw the funny side of it.

I rather sheepishly returned to the other side of the bar after experiencing the kind of embarrassment Del Boy once suffered in a cocktail bar.

Luckily, I was saved from further suffering after I foolishly agreed to try a Flaming Lamborghini cocktail, which explodes if you make the slightest wrong move. In my increasing drunken state I couldn’t hide my fear and thankfully I lived to fight another day when my ‘flair bartending’ friends said we’d sadly not have enough time to set it up (what a relief! I dodged a bullet there).


Record breakers: TGI bartenders set a Guinness World Record for simultaneous flairing

TGI’s used the party as a fitting opportunity to present a cheque for £30,000 to their charity partner, the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

New York’s finest is now halfway to the Big Five-O but there’s one thing for certain, they won’t grow old quietly – there’s sure to be lots of excitement upon the way. Bring on another 25 years and Happy Birthday TGI Friday’s.

To see TGI Friday’s record breaking flair bartenders in action follow this link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRqwe5KR1tg

Will Felipe Massa's luck change?

Felipe Massa was lucky to escape with his life during qualifying for the 2009 Hungarian Grand Prix after a stray suspension spring struck the Ferrari driver on the head at a speed of around 160mph. The object brutally shattered the Brazilian’s helmet striking him just above the left eye leaving him in a life-threatening condition.

Thankfully the 11-time racer winner slowly recovered making his F1 return at the start of the 2010 season back in the red of Ferrari. Many pundits questioned whether Massa would return a different man and whether fear may have clouded his desire to win. There could be some truth to that as the Brazilian has gone from title contender to second fiddle at Ferrari since he returned to the sport.

Although it's all too easy to point to his horrific accident and suggest this is the reason for Massa's decline overall the Brazilian has had some rotten misfortune for some time and could certainly challenge Red Bul's Mark Webber for the crown of the sport's unluckiest driver. Look at the Brazilian Grand Prix in 2008, this is when his spirit probably started to waver, he crossed the line in the season decider effectively as the World Champion resulting in premature celebrations in the Ferrari garages.

Only for Lewis Hamilton to overtake a slowing Timo Glock on the final corner to secure a fifth place finish which gave the Englishman his first championship as the floods opened in Interlagos and the rain came down on Massa's title dreams. This was an exhilarating finish for fans watching all around the world but to say this was cruel on Massa does't cover it. There's a horrible realisation moment where the cameras homed in on the Brazilian's father, Luiz Antonio, as his celebrations are cut short noticing that Hamilton got the result he needed securing the championship by a solitary point ahead of Massa.

This has to be the moment where Massa lost something as it must have been such a bitter pill to swallow before that he'd always ran his team-mates, Kimi Raikkonen and previously Michael Schumacher, close giving as good as he got but now it has very much been established that Fernando Alonso is Ferrari's title-fighter. Placing Massa in the position of rear gunner and with the horrible understanding that his best chance to win a title has passed him by.

F1 has always been a sport of being in the right place at the right time, ask Jenson Button in 2009, a driver has to take their opportunity as there's no guarantee it'll come around again. Even leading up to his accident in 2009 it was clear to see Massa was a changed man. He competed in 10 races only mounting the podium once and failing to win a Grand Prix.

Since his return he's not won a race either although he did come close to victory at the German Grand Prix in 2010 when he was cruelly denied an emotional win, his first since his accident and since his championship heartache in Brazil, but this was sacrificed for the sake of team-mate Fernando Alonso's title challenge. Massa, who was cruising at the front, got a radio message from engineer Rob Smedley saying: "Fernando is faster than you. Can you confirm you understood that message?" Soon after Alonso passed and the Spaniard took the victory with Smedley messaging a very quiet Massa to say: "Ok mate good lad, stick with him now, sorry." This left a very sour taste given all that Massa had been through and it resulted in Ferrari getting a fine for breaking the rules.

That was a significant moment though as it put into place for all the world to see who Ferrari's number one and number two drivers were. Two races into the new season Massa still looks destined to become one of Formula One's nearly men as there has been no sharp turn in form although he could have gained a rare podium at this weekend's Malaysian Grand Prix if it hadn't have been for a dodgy first pit-stop instead he finished fifth. It's a pity for the Brazilian as he has pace in abundance, race winning pedigree and potential but one thing that he's severely lacking is luck. To be a success at anything your ability needs to complemented by a fair bit of luck and lucky is one thing Massa's career certainly hasn't been.

Originally posted on www.virgin.com

Andy Parson at The Lowry

Andy Parsons: The Lowry, Salford. Review by Craig Jones

It’s often been said that stand-up comedy is the new rock ’n’ roll, so it seems appropriate that the Lowry is filled with a soundtrack of heavy guitar-based rock, including The Kings of Leon, The Strokes and The Cribs, as anticipation mounts for comedian Andy Parsons’ Salford appearance on his 40-date tour.

The question is: can the Mock The Week regular live up to the build-up?

A prolonged period of darkness descends on the auditorium before a suave blue-shirted figure draws attention to the venue’s décor. Parsons says: “Good evening I’m very happy to be here at Britain’s most purple venue.”

He gets a reassuring laugh from the varied audience of old and young before a bewildered stare at the vacant seats slap bang in the centre of the front row. This is rather odd considering the theatre’s three tiers are packed but the former Spitting Image writer doesn’t let it faze him as his act gets into full flow.

Parsons, scheduled at the Lowry between Shaun The Sheep and Peppa Pig, gives many thoughtful reflections about the current state of the economy and the government.

He mocks: “Let me get this straight, we had all this fuss about getting Brown out of Number 10 and then the great British public elect a coalition of blue and gold. Forgive me if I’m wrong but doesn’t that make brown?”

No one is safe from the Edinburgh Festival regular’s observations as he sticks the boot into David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Sir Alan Sugar, giving a unique take on how he’d handle that dreaded boardroom firing with the entrepreneur.

Parsons, who began his Gruntled tour in February, has a deceptively cheery delivery to his often dark punchlines and social commentary.

His views on the London Olympics are a fitting example. “I don’t think anyone other than Seb Coe thinks the Olympics are going to go well. I’m sure I’ll wait weeks to find out I’ve not got a ticket to a good event but I’ll still go on our second-rate transport system, then I’ll get there in a never ending queue eating a half-cooked burger, drinking a pint that cost a fiver and then, when I finally get in, I’ll be sat next to two fat thighed people. Then in front of me I’ll have the tallest man to have ever lived who’ll probably have an obnoxious kid with ADHD.”

As the interval nears the bald comedian speaks of a coalition he’d like to see, rather than the current government – the hairless and the ginger joining forces to rule Britain as Parsons’ Vegetable Party – the potato heads and the carrot tops.

During the break the audience sit back in their cosy purple seats as they get a chance to dry the tears from a hilarious opening 50 minutes.

In the second period Parsons gets even more at home with the audience, revealing how previous reviews have described him as a ‘bullet headed funnyman’, ‘potato headed panellist’ and ‘a well-informed veg seller’. In all honesty he’s more like a laidback Pierluigi Collina with all the knowledge of a chirpy Cockney taxi driver who tackles hard-hitting issues like the recession, religion and the cuts but never fails to get a laugh.

It’s amazing to think how high the former Cambridge Footlights student’s star has risen since he debuted on Mock The Week. It is abundantly clear he appreciates how the show, which he describes as ‘a frantic war zone’ has changed his career, propelling him out of shabby clubs into beautiful theatres the length and breath of the county.

As Parsons’ show comes to its conclusion he gives a memorable anecdote from when he was recently in Scotland and found a pair of underpants in a jar of mayonnaise he bought. When he complained he was accused of planting them himself!

Parsons leaves the stage to The Enemy’s ‘You’re Not Alone’ which somehow fits nicely with his closing gags about happiness. The audience, clearly rejoicing after a magnificent evening of fun and topical cheer, conga to the music up the aisles out of the Lowry and into the concrete jungle of Salford Quays.

Posted on www.thenatter.co.uk

Has Schmacher still got it?

Every child has an idol or role model that they aspire to be in their younger years and you won’t be surprised to discover I was no different. During my 1990s childhood I had three people who I idolised and wanted to follow in the footsteps of. My idols were footballer Gennaro Gattuso, Joy Division/New Order bassist Peter Hook and the one which I longed to be more than any other was F1 driver Michael Schumacher. All three were determined, highly successful characters, prone to the occasional controversy who knew how to reach the top. Now in 2011 they’re not what they once were, their popularity has dwindled, they’re being out-performed by hotshot youngsters and for the most part they’re taking up a role as living memory to their great pasts. Although just because most have given up on them doesn’t mean I have. A prime example of this came as I watched Michael Schumacher’s performance at last weekend’s F1 curtain raiser in Australia. Over the winter I’d anxiously hoped the seven-time world champion’s Mercedes would be topping the pre-season time sheets and at times it did which filled me with great hope that Schumacher would start this season a changed breast from the one which bumbled throughout his comeback year. That said, he left Melbourne without a point so my prayers were hardly answered but what disturbed me the most was that the fact that nobody really seemed to bat an eyelid when he finished empty handed. For example in qualifying when he only qualified 11th failing to make it through to Q3’s top ten shoot-out commentators Martin Brundle and David Coulthard were hardly sympathetic to their former sparring partner’s plight. Worse came on Sunday on the opening lap of the race while millions of people across the world were fixated on the front of the grid waiting to see if Lewis Hamilton would make a move on pole sitter Sebastian Vettel my eyes were elsewhere. Some six rows back in fact to see how Schumi would start, with me hoping he’d at least finish in the points. He started well and got into the thick of the action into turn one but unfortunately he did get penned-in by Fernando Alonso’s Ferrari which halted his progress. Schumacher continued harrying into turn three only for the Torro Rosso of Jaime Alguersuari to collide with him resulting in a puncture. This had seemingly gone unnoticed by the cameramen and commentators but I knew what had happened as I sat backwards into my chair I knew Schumacher’s race was basically over. He tiptoed back to the pits, got new tyres and as he returned to the track he was running comfortably last by over a minute. For a moment I thought back to the glory years of Schumacher in his pomp when he was once a lap down in Austria and stormed through the field to finish third in his Ferrari. I hoped and wished I’d see a sensational performance like that again but it never came instead he trundled round the Albert Park circuit, not overtaking anyone, before he decided enough was enough and he parked his Mercedes in the garage. After that, all I wanted was for his team-mate, Nico Rosberg, not to finish as I didn’t want him to start the season already beating the master. Thankfully I got my wish two laps later when Schumacher’s old Ferrari comrade Rubens Barrichello over-ambitiously went to overtake him smashing into his car. As this happened the footage cut to Schumacher standing in the garage watching the action unfold on the monitors and he gave a little despairing shrug to the camera. This spoke volumes to me because underneath his concerned glances the old devious Schumacher still exists and his face echoed relief that Rosberg, who nearly doubled Schumacher’s points tally of 72 last season, wasn’t beating him again just yet. If we’re honest as much as I adore Michael Schumacher there will be many detractors who will have had a good laugh at Schumacher’s struggles since returning to F1 last season seeing just how far the mighty has fallen. As it is hard, for some, to ignore some of his previous antics, such as purposely taking Damon Hill out of the race at Adelaide, trying something similar on Jacques Villeneuve in Suzuka and parking his Ferrari in Monaco to block Fernando Alonso. Over the winter Sir Sterling Moss questioned his record as a seven-time world champion implying that he was basically in the right place at the right time. This is quite a harsh statement as you don’t win seven world titles purely on luck, or basically reverse the fortunes of the Ferrari team just on good timing not to mention the fact he won two of his titles with Benetton who were hardly one of F1’s established greats. Obviously having a good car helps but there still needed to be a world class driver behind the wheel and that’s what Schumacher was but sadly probably isn’t now. In the build-up to the Australian Grand Prix Nigel Mansell said that he felt that Schumacher had one more world drivers crown in him before he called it a day for good. This is something I just can’t see not with the dominance that Baby Schumi (Sebastian Vettel) seems to have in his Red Bull not to mention the other young pretenders in Mclaren and Ferrari. Personally I think this will be Schumacher’s swansong year and I have realistic expectations for him. I just want to see him grace the podium from time-to-time (which he didn’t do at all last season) and have consistent points finishes. If he could win a race that would be a perfect send-off to what has been the career of F1’s greatest ever driver (even including his comeback). Whatever happens this year I’ll be supporting at every turn, crash and occasional triumph. As featured on http://www.virgin.com/

F1 season 2011 preview

Formula One, the world’s most glamorous and at times most controversial sport, returns this weekend with the curtain raiser taking place in Australia. So, we’ve complied a list of things to expect during the 2011 F1 season.

1. Dramatic tyre degradation

This season Formula One has a new chief tyre supplier, Pirelli, who’re replacing Bridgestone. During testing the Italian manufacturer where given the mandate to ensure this season’s tyres are softer as F1 bosses hope to create more overtaking and to test the ability of tacticians as they try to prevent unnecessary pit-stops. It could prove a difficult task balancing the benefits of keeping drivers on track as opposed to bringing them in to change their boots as winter testing has already shown. For example, at Barcelona recently Mercedes’ Michael Schumacher, on fresh Pirellis, caught McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton, struggling on degrading tyres, over a matter of only 3 laps overtaking him and pulling out a 5 second lead on the 2008 World Champion. Striking tyre degradation such as this may lead many teams to bite the bullet and pit much more frequently with many pundits predicting each driver will pit three or four times in every race. Commentator, Martin Brundle, said recently he expected to see some ‘crazy results’ due to the volatile nature of the new tyres and this could be a huge benefit to the midfield teams especially at the start of the season while they are all still adapting.

2. A new Brit

The gird now has three British drivers with the arrival of Scot, Paul Di Resta, the 24-year-old has been on the cusp of joining an F1 team for many years as he’s previously been linked with drives at Mclaren, Force India and Toyota. Finally the 2010 DTM Champion has got his chance joining Force India, who he tested for in 2008, as a replacement for Italian Antonio Liuzzi. Unlike most rookies who drive in F1, based on a sponsors’ cheque, Di Resta has a proven pedigree of being a motor sport champion. He won the Formula Three Euroseries and Masters of Formula 3 championships in 2006 and has consistently finished in the top three overall standing in the German touring car series, DTM, over the last three seasons before winning the competition last year. As Force India are firmly placed in the middle of the field not much is expected of the Scot but he’ll be determined to achieve consistent points finishes to put him on the radar of front running teams. To help him reach his potential and equal the feats of F1’s two other British drivers, Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton, by becoming World Champion in a few seasons time.



3. A struggling Mclaren

Over winter testing Mclaren Mercedes new car, the MP4-26, has struggled for pace and reliability and has left many wondering if the team are capable of mounting a challenge for the drivers and constructors titles. Drivers, Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton, have both toed the party-line saying they’re content but they must be frustrated by the car’s apparent lack of performance. A feeling which must be privately felt within the team too as Mclaren Team Principal Martin Whitmarsh has confirmed his team are making ’dramatic’ alterations to the car before this weekend’s Australian Grand Prix. These changes centre upon giving the MP4-26 a new floor and exhaust system. Whitmarsh said: “There's a risk in that but I think it was the right thing to do and we're hopeful that the risk comes off and the car becomes a lot more competitive.” He defiantly concluded that he felt the new Mclaren could now become over a second a lap quicker. Success for Britain’s two former World Champions could depend hugely on this early season gamble as rivals Ferrari and Red Bull look to be this season’s pace setters once more.

4. Team Orders

The clause which banned team’s engineering an advantage for their ‘lead driver’ has been removed and now teams can again freely tell their ‘second drivers’ to let their team-mates past them. Team orders came to prominence during Michael Schumacher’s dominant era with Ferrari when team-mates Eddie Irvine, Rubens Barrichello and Felipe Massa were all told to move aside to give the German race victories. The Scuderia were adjudged to be up to their old tricks last season when Felipe Massa surrendered what would have been an emotional first victory since returning from a near fatal accident to allow Fernando Alonso to win the German Grand Prix. Massa‘s race engineer Rob Smedley radioed the Brazilian and said ‘Fernando is faster than you’ moments later Alonso was past Massa with Smedley radioing a solitary ‘sorry’ to the distraught Brazilian. Ferrari were given a slap on the wrist for their actions by the FIA and rival teams heavily criticised their use of team orders, none more than Red Bull Team Principal Christian Horner, it will be interesting to see if he uses team orders now the ban has been lifted after all it could have saved him a lot of hassle last season as drivers Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber regularly tangled with each other nearly blowing their championship hopes.

5. An improved Michael Schumacher

The big talking point of the 2010 season was the return of the legendary Michael Schumacher as he signed up to race for the new Mercedes team, previously World Champions Brawn GP, and this caused euphoria amongst millions of F1 fans across the world. Although in-truth the seven-time World Champion’s comeback was far from plain sailing. He was regularly out-performed by team-mate Nico Rosberg, who almost doubled Schumacher’s point haul of 72, he also struggled to get to grips with qualifying often not making the top ten shoot-out in Q3 and worst of all the German never even mounted the podium with his best finish being fourth in Korea. It was a real shock for many F1 purists who wanted their idol to waltz back behind the wheel of an F1 car and re-establish his dominance from his Ferrari years. In winter testing the prospects have looked good for Schumacher as he quite frequently topped the time sheets despite many saying the Mercedes lacks pace. After his disastrous return, where he ended the championship ninth, you won’t find many predicting he’ll become a World Champion for the eighth time in 2011 but they’re hopeful he’ll at least grace the podium from time-to-time and possibly win a race, this would be a great sign-off for a true great, who probably won’t be on the grid in 2012.



6. A rotation of drivers at Hispania Racing

It’s fair to say of last season’s three new teams, Hispania, struggled substantially more than Virgin Racing or Lotus with no pre-season testing and non-stop financial difficulties it was a wonder they got on the grid at times. During races their fortunes didn’t improve much with their drivers consistently finishing at the very back of the field, if at all, which lead to them finishing last in the constructors championship. They arguably didn’t help themselves by using four drivers, Karun Chandhok, Bruno Senna, Sakon Yamamoto and Christian Kilen, throughout the season which prevented any stability as Hispania tried to find their feet in the sport. This season they’re starting with two new drivers former Jordan racer Narain Karthikeyan and Antonio Liuzzi, who drove for Force India next year, both have substantially more F1 experience and sponsorship than their predecessors but don’t be surprised to see an also-ran from seasons gone by replacing one of them during the season. Maybe Takuma Sato will fancy a mid-season F1 return.

7. Warring team-mates

As the golden rule of F1 goes, you have to beat your team-mate, from Mclaren’s two Brits to Red Bull’s bickering duo there are sure to be some heated in-team rivalries this season. The most memorable moment of warring team-mates last season had to be when Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber clashed at the Turkish Grand Prix wiping Vettel out of the race while jeopardising Red Bull’s title hopes. Now that Vettel is a World Champion it will be interesting to see if Webber is expected to defer to the young German and furthermore if the fiery Aussie complies. A similar situation could happen at Mercedes too after Nico Rosberg pummelled Michael Schumacher last season it’s unlikely the veteran will settle for second driver status. Also at the front it’ll be intriguing to see whether Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa start the season on a level-footing. Given that last year the Brazilian had to be the yielding rear-gunner to the two-time World Champion. One thing is for sure with the reinstating of team orders some teams will clearly define a number one and number two driver which probably isn’t a bad idea. As the civil war at Mclaren between Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso in 2007 cost the team the title as Kimi Raikkonen’s Ferrari, who started the final race third in the championship, piped them to the World Championship.



8. A possible return for Robert Kubica
The big tragedy of pre-season was the accident to Renault’s, Robert Kubica, as he was allowed to compete for Skoda in the Ronde di Andora rally but the Pole unfortunately crashed leaving his F1 career in the balance. The one-time race winner suffered various hand, arm and leg injuries which needed multiple operations to repair. There is no way that he’d be able to take the seat of his vastly improved, Lotus Renault GP, for the opening months of the season but F1 fans would undoubtedly love to see him back behind the wheel before the season finishes. In the mean-time his former BMW team-mate, Nick Heidfeld, is deputising for Kubica which could put the in-experienced, Vitaly Petrov’s, position with the team in doubt should Heidfeld do well for Renault in Kubica’s absence. As the pairing of Kubica and Heidfeld made BMW a very fearsome team during their time together previously and would again with Lotus Renault GP if the Pole recovers this season.

9. The First Indian Grand Prix

This season on October 30th F1’s inaugural Indian GP will take place at the Jaypee Group Circuit, in Greater Nodia. The sprawling circuit consists of 16 largely medium speed corners with cars having an expected average lap speed of around 210 kph. The grand stands will house around 150,00 spectators with plans in-place to extend that to 200,000 should the race become popular with fans. When the F1 circus arrives in India in the thick of the season the grid will have an Indian team, Force India, and an Indian driver, Narain Karthikeyan (If Hispania haven’t replaced him by then).

10. Controversies

F1 is nothing without the traditional scandal each season. In recent years we’ve seen spying between Mclaren and Ferrari, illegal car designs, Piquet-gate and even allegations about former FIA President Max Mosley’s private life. This year nothing much has arisen yet other than trash talk between teams with Lewis Hamilton recently describing Red Bull as ‘just a drinks company’ this is pretty light stuff at the moment but it’ll be sure to simmer during the season. There is bound to be controversies surrounding the legality of teams’ diffusers as has become the norm in recent years. Plans to make F1 more interesting are also sure to cause debate with big cheese, Bernie Ecclestone, recently proposing artificial rain to make races more of a spectacle and being roundly shot down by the paddock. Whatever happens this year there is certain to be as much action the track as there is on it as always.

Review: The Strokes - Angles

As featured on Virgin.com



‘I’m putting your patience to the test’ is the cry of Julian Casablancas’ distinctive drawl in ‘Angles’ enthralling opener, the slightly Caribbean sounding, ‘Machu Picchu’ and this is something he has been doing to The Strokes’ many fans for over five years since the New York rockers last album ‘First Impressions of Earth’ was released in 2006. Since then the five-piece had gone their separate ways during the band’s hibernation and focused on their own solo projects notching up no fewer than five albums between them.

In 2009 Casablancas and guitarist Nick Valensi announced the band had started writing new material so last year expectant fans were overcome with excitement when the New Yorkers made appearances on the festival scene with revellers tentatively stood in fields awaiting new material. Instead Casablancas and co gave two rousing ‘best of’ gigs headlining at RockNess and the Isle of Wight festivals with no new songs to be found.



Rumours then surfaced they were having recording problems with award-winning producer Joe Chicarelli and the indie band decided to record the majority of ‘Angles’ material at guitarist, Albert Hammond Jr’s, home studio in New York. The result is something of a variety album taking the best of the band’s three previous albums, ‘Is This It’, ‘Room on Fire’ and ‘First Impressions of Earth’, to reassure fans as they move in an experimental new direction.
Debut single ‘Undercover of Darkness’, which was released in February, wouldn’t be out of place on The Strokes’ acclaimed first album, ‘Is This It’, with punchy heavy guitar work from masters Nick Valensi and Hammond Jr pounding throughout. The high tempo song has a chorus reminiscent to the band’s most recognisable track from their back catalogue ‘Last Nite’ but gives the impression that the New Yorkers slightly resent the cult status that the iconic anthem gave them with the lyric ‘Everybody singing the same song for ten years’ (The amount of time that has passed since ‘Is This It’) and want to be taken more seriously. Lyrically this album’s message is one of frustration that The Strokes feel they can’t move away from their early work.

Throughout ‘Angles’ we’re treated to some unexpected 70s style prog-rock heard in jovial ‘Gratisfaction’ which could easily be a Thin Lizzy power ballad as could the soft pop sounding ‘Two Kinds of Happiness’. This reflective track has seen The Strokes jump on the band wagon of indie bands becoming electronic with the predominant drums in the chorus sounding pretty similar to the Friendly Fires’ ‘Jump in the Pool’ but with an assured confident coolness of Roxy Music back in their pomp.


The electronic sound, clearly influenced by Casablancas’ 2009 solo album ‘Phrazes for the Young’, doesn’t stop there with ‘Games’ feeling like something from New Order’s heyday abundant in synth that would work perfectly as new wave background music for the legendary game Sonic the Hedgehog. Moving on from the Star Light Zone ‘Angles’ regrettably does get a little muddled at times when the experimentation in filler tracks such as, the sinister Muse-like, ‘Metabolism’ and ‘You’re So Right’, which feels like a rhythmic chant that is sure to induce a headache, does go a little wrong.

These are minor blemishes on what is a very good return album for The Strokes, who find lead singer Casablancas in fine form, despite him recording all his vocals separate from the rest of the band as he felt he would ‘interfere’ too much (obviously it‘s nothing to do with them not getting on). This could have resulted in a very disjointed album but despite concerns from some band members The Strokes get away with it and the overall it goes unnoticed in the production. Although Valensi recently said he would refuse to make another album in this fashion.

As much as critics will be eager to criticise ‘Angles’ basically because it isn’t another ‘Is This It’ there is much to savour from this album. First and foremost The Strokes, one of the world’s most renowned guitar bands, are back making new music which can only be a good thing. Furthermore from the album’s title there is a sense that this record was a group endeavour with The Strokes members collectively contributing their own wide expertises, more than ever before, emphasising this to be a journey they’re all taking together. They give the impression they’re trialling new sounds in-order to decide which they want to take forward into the future as ultimately Angles is very much a ‘pic n mix’ record with enough evident successes capable of fuelling an entirely polished fifth album.



‘Angles’ jewel in it’s pretty weighty crown is the finale ‘Life is Simple in the Moonlight’, which was recently performed on American TV show Saturday Night Live, the guitars are let loose complementing Casablancas’ unique drowns effortlessly. This is when the New Yorkers sound at their most Strokes-like, almost as if they’re dragging the masses along waiting to give them what they want right at the end, this thoughtful track would be perfect for a festival set as the day descends into night and the stars begin to sparkle up above. If Casablancas is to be believed the band have more than enough material ready to fill a fifth album, so hopefully it won’t be another five year wait. What’s for certain is The Strokes seem reinvigorated and determined to shape their own destiny not caring what others think. As Casablancas defiantly signs off ‘Don’t try to stop us get out of the way’.

7/10

Craig Jones

This Summer's fashions debuted

The Summer months are fast approaching and given the dreary winter of cuts, wars and Dancing on Ice that we’ve all had to endure, the people of Britain, are undoubtedly looking forward to a bit of sunshine but the question is, what should we be wearing this Summer? On Thursday evening I discovered what’s in vogue for men’s fashion this year at a GQ menswear show at, Selfridges, in Manchester’s Exchange Square. Brace yourself lads it’s going to get a little bit colourful from here as it would seem dark blue, grey and black are out.

On the chilly Thursday, prior to the catwalk show, I’d been working as a waiter in a Mexican restaurant and I had to take my evening’s attire with me as I would have never had enough time to get ready and get to Manchester in time for the show. Given that the event is heavily fashion based I thought there is a very high probability I was going to be judged for my chosen ensemble. So I decided to play it safe with a grey cardigan topping a white shirt and skinny tie complemented by tinted navy jeans and sky blue plimsolls. Surely this couldn’t fail.

After completing my shift I went to make the dramatic Clark Kent transformation from waiter to fashion journalist and discovered to, my horror, whilst dousing myself in bottle after bottle of aftershave, to rid myself of the smell of chicken fajitas, that I’d forgotten my jeans and plimsolls. As time was ticking away fast and I had less than an hour to get to the event a dilemma developed. Do I risk going home picking up my carefully selected footwear and jeans or just gamble by my wearing the now grubby lower half of my work uniform?

I had no option and went with the latter, as I arrived in Manchester making the long walk past the CIS to Selfridges I stood In every puddle I could find in the hope that my salsa and guacamole covered shoes would miraculously begin to gleam so I didn’t look like the amateur I clearly was. Staring at the big wheel that stands proudly next to the now rather imposing Selfridges building I thought how can I comment about fashion when I’m wearing trousers that make me look like I’ve just finished a long day at school.

Entering the menswear department I suddenly started to feel at ease, this could have been something to do with the free alcoholic beverages, and began to wonder around the displays for the new season. The handy information leaflets informed me of the four big looks for men this summer including, South Pacific, which consists of khaki designs and bright Hawaiian shirts, although, I’m not overly convinced this’ll be a massive hit with Manchester’s abundance of Liam Gallagher impersonators but who knows it could catch on.

If that isn’t your bag then maybe, Carry On, will be this fashion aims to rediscover, Britannia, raising memories of a good old fashioned jaunts to the seaside wearing vibrant stripy T-Shirts and high raised shorts that even an 1980s footballer would blush at the sight of. After speaking to the sales assistant, at length, about this look, which I have to admit did grow on me by the end of our conversation, she concluded by saying the Charlie Chaplin look is back in…I never knew it went out.

Selfridges seemed to have committed to revving memories of Starsky and Hutch, Marc Bolan and Frank Zappa’s moustache in the, 70s Holiday, display. I’m pleased to report that we can now safely dig out the loafers and bleached denim from the attic and wear them once more, also, it might be a good idea to start growing an afro too.

The final ensemble for the summer months is, Rainbow, which does exactly what it says on the tin. I was blinded by the light of looking at multi-coloured jumpers and cardigans that contained every colour known to man. From this look I couldn’t help but wonder if this meant James May is a style icon? As he’s been wearing very similar stuff on Top Gear for years. In all honesty, this did look rather fitting for the summer, it just would be complemented by a few rays of sunshine descending onto our shores. Although I doubt, Rainbow, will age all that well but it could well be a guilty pleasure this summer.

The night ended with the main event of a catwalk show hosted by T4’s Jameela Jamil (I had to Google her as most weekend morning I’m too worse for ware to be out of bed watching television) presenting the looks in greater detail. With offerings from top designers such as Ralph Lauren, Acne, Gucci, Jill Sander and Kurt Geiger amongst others.

A few expected insecurities crept in during the show as I stared at the admittedly rather handsome runaway models while simultaneously I caught a reflection of my somewhat portly figure but this depression soon turned to excitement as I spotted former contestants of Channel 4’s Coach Trip (My favourite TV show) admiring the clothes on display. I did hope that tour guide Brendan may have been present but alas he was nowhere to be found.

The evening was a great success and seemed to please those much more qualified than me to judge fashion the only slight glitch was that the lovely Jameela kept name dropping Jude Law and Sienna Miller saying that they were big fans of the looks, that she thought they’d probably wear matching outfits, only for someone to remind her after her 12th reference to them that they’d recently split-up (Oh dear!).

I think it’s fair to say most of what was on display was aspirational attire, given that the outfits cost more than my car, but there were a few looks which I could see really working on the streets of Manchester this year, so guys maybe forget about roaming around shirtless (Obviously this‘ll disappoint many ladies I’m sure) the second the sun appears (getting that all too common and not particularly appealing red lobster look) and go for a rainbow jumper instead. Also the good people at GQ and Selfridges have assured me that socks and sandals do not mix so try your best to steer clear of them I know Jude Law does.

Renault's pre-season conundrum

As Murray Walker would say the new F1 season is all set to ‘go,go,go’ in less than a months time starting in, Sakir, with the Bahrain Grand Prix. There’s been much debate over the winter about how Ferrari will react to being pipped at the post in Abu Dhabi, whether Schuey can up his game after a distinctly average return last season and also whether the teams will adapt to the new Pirelli tyres. While underneath the surface everyone has failed to notice that Renault were beginning to shape up very nicely for the 2011 season.

Off-the-track there had been a little bit of scandal with regards to the team’s naming rights as this season they’ll be named Lotus-Renault after striking a $100m title name sponsor with the prestigious car giant. This resulted in a bitter war of words between the Renault crew and Team Lotus about who were the rightful owners of the team’s renowned F1 pedigree.


In truth this was all a flash in the pan and during pre-season practise the sleeping giant of a team had been topping the time sheets under the stewardship of Pole, Robert Kubica, touted as a genuine title contender for the forthcoming season by Sterling Moss. The one-time race winner, who ran Lewis Hamilton close to the world crown in 2008 must have been feeling pretty confident about his prospects for this season until that ill-fated Sunday morning, only three days ago.

Kubica, a well known rally enthusiast, was given permission to compete in the Ronde di Andora Rally, in Genoa, Italy, by Lotus-Renault bosses but it has been well documented that he had a serious crash during the road stage.


The former BWM-Sauber racer has fractures to his right shoulder, elbow and leg but the major concern and the severe cuts he suffered to his hand. Since the accident, where he crashed into a church wall and was trapped inside his Skoda Fabia for over an hour before being freed, he has had numerous operations on his injured hand.

What is certain is that F1’s first-ever Polish driver will not be on the grid in 29 days time, if at all this season, Lotus-Renault now have to decide who is capable of driving their vastly improved car and take over from their team leader.

The team’s test drivers Bruno Senna, nephew of the legendary Ayrton, and Romain Grosjean both have limited F1 experience, neither have ever completed an entire season. So it’s unlikely they’d be able to fill the void left by Kubica and the idea of Vitaly Petrov leading the team is sure to be met by cynicism. The Russian had a so-so debut year, admittedly he vastly improved in the second-half, but he will have to come on leaps and bounds to be considered seriously.

Renault team boss Eric Boullier has publicly shortlisted Bruno Senna, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Nick Heidfeld to replace the injured Robert Kubica in 2011. Of the three surely, Heidfeld, stands out as he has experience and some proven pedigree. Although that said, to me, he’s only a safe pair of hands as his best career finish is only 2nd place, ironically behind Kubica, his then team-mate at the 2008 Canadian Grand Prix. Maybe Lotus-Renault should be trying to cast their net further a field.


Other names touted include, the rumoured new Stig, Anthony Davidson and the impressive Nico Hulkenberg, who was somewhat unlucky not to keep his race seat at Williams. Hulkenberg and Heidfeld would make suitable replacements but in my opinion one candidate stands out, Kimi Raikkonen. After his Ferrari exile and a year in the wilderness rallying with Citroen is it now time to bring the 2007 World Champion back to F1?

Sure the Iceman can appear lazy and uninterested at times but he obviously has a winner’s mentality at heart, Lotus-Renault could do a lot worse than hiring the Finn to keep Kubica’s seat warm.

Also, today Citroën Sport director Olivier Quesnel, did state that Raikkonen would be free to make a ‘sensational’ comeback to the sport if he wanted to. So Lotus-Renault should not hesitate to jump at this prompting and sign a proven winner rather than another potential prospect which they have seemed all too keen to do in recent seasons. Anyone remember Nelson Piquet Jr?


Whatever happens the main thing is that Robert Kubica is back in F1 sooner rather than later as he has the abundant ability of a future champion.