1. The synchronised dress code of the German management team is more than a little creepy. The sight of Jochem Loew and right hand man, Oliver Bierhoff trying their best to be down with the kids, by wearing matching ‘designer’ cardigans is the worst football fashion catastrophe since the Liverpool team’s sinister cream FA Cup Final suits from 1995. Yes, they really are that bad.
2. Just when you start to believe there aren’t any easy games left in International football, North Korea stumble into your life. World Cup 2010 has seen memorable shocks from New Zealand, Algeria, Serbia and Switzerland but the North Koreans have offered a welcome goal boost to the established order. Most notably, shipping seven goals against Portugal. Unsurprisingly, Kim Jong-Hun’s side fell at the group stages with a goal difference of minus eleven, after three matches.
3. Nigeria certainly know how to miss a sitter, surely it couldn’t get any worse than Chinedu Oybuke’s guilt edge miss against Greece. Though, it certainly did when Yakubu completely missed the onion bag from no more than 2 yards out verses South Korea with an open goal beckoning. That has to be the worst ever miss recorded on film, even worse than Ronny Rosenthal’s.
4. Gold can actually rust, following a nightmare campaign which included a player sent home, a fitness coach resigning and their Football Federation President in tears, It would seem France’s golden generation are now dead and buried. Now that they have flown home in shame on their economy flights the autopsy continues as striker Thierry Henry has met with the country’s President, Nicolas Sarkozy to discuss the team’s abysmal showing.
5. If a team has the attacking talent of Lionel Messi, Gonazlo Higuain, Ángel Di Maria, Carlos Tevez and Diego Milito (The list could continue) it really doesn’t matter who manages them. After an indifferent qualification campaign, some predicted Argentina would struggle in South Africa although they have done everything but. Sweeping aside all in their group, under the stewardship of the Argentine equivalent of Mike Bassett, in the form of the legendary, Diego Maradona, who makes up for his lack of tactical ability with his unrivalled charisma. After his teams victory over South Korea the handball specialist responded to quips that he was too friendly towards his players by saying: “I prefer women. I have a girlfriend Veronica who is blonde and 31.”
6. Inevitably, the ball gets criticised. Adidas’ Jabulani football has joined a long line of World Cup tournament balls that have been slammed for being awkward to use. The problem with this year’s ball is that it apparently ‘just travels funny in the air’ well if anyone saw the 50 yard ball Glen Johnson played to Wayne Rooney against Slovenia or either of the two free kicks Japan scored verses Denmark the Jabulani ball doesn’t seem all that bad.
7. Like always, just as keen as the English press are to build the national team up, they’re even more eager to knock them down. If you believed the newspapers prior to the tournament, World Cup 2010 was England’s best chance to conquer the world since our victory in 1966. The odd draw later and it’s all change, Fabio Capello, once billed as a potential messiah became a senile old Italian, who’d forgotten he’d given Joe Cole a plane ticket. The worst aspect of the whole affair had to be when tabloid favourite, John Terry acknowledged the concerns raised by the press but was then called a traitor for agreeing with what they had been preaching. Gosh you’d think he’d slept with Capello’s wife or something, oh wait…maybe that was the ‘big mistake’ Fabio has been talking about. Well one thing is for certain, Capello will do more than just refuse a handshake, if this rumour is true.
8. Vuvuzelas are rather annoying, this World Cup has been devoid of chanting from the terrace but at least it has gained a lot of South African identity which ultimately makes tournaments memorable, this is thanks in no small part to those noisy horns. Plus, an avid Formula One fan can hardly criticise the noise made by a few plastic horns. A F1 car roaming the streets of Monaco is anything but quiet.
9. The BBC have pulled a masterstroke by signing 781 time Champions League Winner, Clarence Seedorf, who has complimented their already strong team of pundits. Seedorf is refreshing, articulate and not afraid of offering an opinion, Seedorf’s view of Christiano Ronaldo: “He’s one of the best contemporary footballers but he’ll never be an all time great.” Clarence has settled well into the Beeb’s tried and tested line-up whose coverage has also received a shot in the arm with Lee Dixon coming of age at the tournament. The only weak link is the monotones of the Monobrowed, Martin Keown who revealed to the world mid-commentary: “It’s a horrible job, I don’t think people at home appreciate how cold it actually is out here, plus we have to stay up to midnight and get up at 7am.” If you fancy quitting Martin, they’ll be a fair few million people queuing up to get behind the microphone, they‘d all do a better job of it too.
10. Life just goes on hold during the World Cup. Throughout the group stages we’ve had the appetiser of supping our teeth into three matches a day and now the main course of our footballing feast commences, the knockouts. Ah bliss!
2. Just when you start to believe there aren’t any easy games left in International football, North Korea stumble into your life. World Cup 2010 has seen memorable shocks from New Zealand, Algeria, Serbia and Switzerland but the North Koreans have offered a welcome goal boost to the established order. Most notably, shipping seven goals against Portugal. Unsurprisingly, Kim Jong-Hun’s side fell at the group stages with a goal difference of minus eleven, after three matches.
3. Nigeria certainly know how to miss a sitter, surely it couldn’t get any worse than Chinedu Oybuke’s guilt edge miss against Greece. Though, it certainly did when Yakubu completely missed the onion bag from no more than 2 yards out verses South Korea with an open goal beckoning. That has to be the worst ever miss recorded on film, even worse than Ronny Rosenthal’s.
4. Gold can actually rust, following a nightmare campaign which included a player sent home, a fitness coach resigning and their Football Federation President in tears, It would seem France’s golden generation are now dead and buried. Now that they have flown home in shame on their economy flights the autopsy continues as striker Thierry Henry has met with the country’s President, Nicolas Sarkozy to discuss the team’s abysmal showing.
5. If a team has the attacking talent of Lionel Messi, Gonazlo Higuain, Ángel Di Maria, Carlos Tevez and Diego Milito (The list could continue) it really doesn’t matter who manages them. After an indifferent qualification campaign, some predicted Argentina would struggle in South Africa although they have done everything but. Sweeping aside all in their group, under the stewardship of the Argentine equivalent of Mike Bassett, in the form of the legendary, Diego Maradona, who makes up for his lack of tactical ability with his unrivalled charisma. After his teams victory over South Korea the handball specialist responded to quips that he was too friendly towards his players by saying: “I prefer women. I have a girlfriend Veronica who is blonde and 31.”
6. Inevitably, the ball gets criticised. Adidas’ Jabulani football has joined a long line of World Cup tournament balls that have been slammed for being awkward to use. The problem with this year’s ball is that it apparently ‘just travels funny in the air’ well if anyone saw the 50 yard ball Glen Johnson played to Wayne Rooney against Slovenia or either of the two free kicks Japan scored verses Denmark the Jabulani ball doesn’t seem all that bad.
7. Like always, just as keen as the English press are to build the national team up, they’re even more eager to knock them down. If you believed the newspapers prior to the tournament, World Cup 2010 was England’s best chance to conquer the world since our victory in 1966. The odd draw later and it’s all change, Fabio Capello, once billed as a potential messiah became a senile old Italian, who’d forgotten he’d given Joe Cole a plane ticket. The worst aspect of the whole affair had to be when tabloid favourite, John Terry acknowledged the concerns raised by the press but was then called a traitor for agreeing with what they had been preaching. Gosh you’d think he’d slept with Capello’s wife or something, oh wait…maybe that was the ‘big mistake’ Fabio has been talking about. Well one thing is for certain, Capello will do more than just refuse a handshake, if this rumour is true.
8. Vuvuzelas are rather annoying, this World Cup has been devoid of chanting from the terrace but at least it has gained a lot of South African identity which ultimately makes tournaments memorable, this is thanks in no small part to those noisy horns. Plus, an avid Formula One fan can hardly criticise the noise made by a few plastic horns. A F1 car roaming the streets of Monaco is anything but quiet.
9. The BBC have pulled a masterstroke by signing 781 time Champions League Winner, Clarence Seedorf, who has complimented their already strong team of pundits. Seedorf is refreshing, articulate and not afraid of offering an opinion, Seedorf’s view of Christiano Ronaldo: “He’s one of the best contemporary footballers but he’ll never be an all time great.” Clarence has settled well into the Beeb’s tried and tested line-up whose coverage has also received a shot in the arm with Lee Dixon coming of age at the tournament. The only weak link is the monotones of the Monobrowed, Martin Keown who revealed to the world mid-commentary: “It’s a horrible job, I don’t think people at home appreciate how cold it actually is out here, plus we have to stay up to midnight and get up at 7am.” If you fancy quitting Martin, they’ll be a fair few million people queuing up to get behind the microphone, they‘d all do a better job of it too.
10. Life just goes on hold during the World Cup. Throughout the group stages we’ve had the appetiser of supping our teeth into three matches a day and now the main course of our footballing feast commences, the knockouts. Ah bliss!
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